Pitting infamous graduates from OSU and Michigan against each other

Jeffrey Dahmer vs. HH Holmes

Who: Infamous serial killer cannibal, credited with 17 victims before his conviction, murdered in prison by fellow inmate at Columbia Correctional Institution. Supposedly obsessed with trying to turn his victims into sex-slave zombies, police found no less than 11 human heads in Dahmer’s apartment upon his arrest on July 22nd 1991 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Major: Did not graduate, studied business

Who: Born Herman Webster Mudgett, considered to be America’s first serial killer, confirmed to have killed at least 9 victims, suspected of killing up to 200. Designed an elaborate “murder castle,” complete with dungeons and vats of acid for disposal of bodies. Brought to justice and executed after murdering his fourth fiancé Minnie Williams, heiress to a railroad fortune.

Major: Medicine, graduated from University of Michigan’s Department of Medicine and Surgery in 1884.

Kyle Snyder vs. Scott Steiner

Who: Rio Olympics gold medalist for amateur wrestling, 2016 NCAA national champion, youngest American Olympic wrestler in history at 20 years old. Wrestling phenom since his high school days, amassing an undefeated record of 179-0 in his first three years of high school, youngest American in over 20 years to win the FILA Junior World Championships, undefeated in top 3 premier high school wrestling tournaments in America.

Major: Health and Science

Who: Born Scott Carl Rechsteiner, better know as in ring moniker Scott Steiner or Big Poppa Pump, self proclaimed genetic freak, NCAA division 1 all American amateur wrestler at University of Michigan, ranked 6th in the nation his senior year. Outspoken and controversial professional wrestler, veteran of WWE, WCW, ECW, and TNA. Inventor of the “Franksteiner,” a wrestling maneuver now ubiquitous in professional wrestling, supposedly once threatened to kill Hulk Hogan.

Major: Physical Education, graduated 1986.

Arthur Miller vs. James Thurber

Who: Notorious American playwright and literary figure, author of Death of a Salesman, The Crucible, All My Sons, and A View from the Bridge. Awarded the Pulitzer Prize for drama in 1949, and Kennedy Center Honors in 1989. Was once brought before the House Un-American Activities Committee as a suspected communist, leaving an indelible impression on his life and subsequent work.

Major: English, worked at student paper Michigan Daily.

Who: Famous Columbus Ohio native, cartoonist, author, and humorist. Best know for work published in The New Yorker including The Catbird Seat and The Secret Life of Walter MItty. His family home, the Thurber House, located on OSU campus on Jefferson Ave., exists now as a museum.

Major: Did not graduate, posthumously awarded Doctor of Humane Letters degree.

Kim Deal vs. Madonna

Who: Dayton, Ohio native, bassist in seminal alternative rock bands The Breeders and The Pixies. Career hindered by stint in drug rehab, perhaps best known for hit single “Cannonball” while helming The Breeders, supposedly still resides in Dayton with her mother.

Major: Did not graduate, attended 7 colleges in total.

Who: Famous singer, dancer, actress, and businesswoman. Pop culture chameleon, has seemingly reinvented herself decade after decade, for a while speaking with a fake British accent. Has been labeled the “most influential female recording artist of all time” by various critics. First captured the attention of American pop culture for boundary pushing use of sexual and religious imagery in performances.

Major: Did not graduate, attended University of Michigan School of Music, Theatre & Dance.

George Steinbrenner vs. Gerald Ford

Who: Outspoken owner of the New York Yankees from 1973 until his death in 2010. Nicknamed “The Boss,” Steinbrenner was notoriously single minded in his leadership as owner, supposedly not allowing any players or members of staff to have facial hair or hair that would hang below a shirt collar. Immortalized in popular culture, most notably in popular 90s sitcom Seinfeld.

Major: Attended OSU for grad school, receiving a M.A. in physical education.

Who: 38th President of the United States, achieved the position without ever being voted for, became Vice President after Spiro Agnew resigned, then President after Nixon resigned. Known for making bumbling mistakes in public, most well known instance being falling down a flight of stairs exiting Air Force One. Starting center on the football team while in college, supposedly turned down offers to play professionally to attend grad school.

Major: B.A. in Economics from University of Michigan, Juris Doctor degree from Yale Law School.

Rules of the road: Comments that are off topic or can be seen as personal attacks are subject to removal.